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Thursday, December 29, 2011

Regeneration

It is awesome to behold a new generation, whether it's a human baby or dog. In my case, the dog is remarkably similar to its prior generation, which has this redeeming quality that is utterly amazing. When you miss someone, it's the little things that come to mind:  the look in their eye, the way they smiled, the way they smelled. Those things you know you will never experience again when the person or pet passes on. But yet...you can experience at least some of them again with a dog, I've found. I have witnessed it these last few days. Singer is not Saylor but she is so similar to a young Saylor that I fall in this reverie of thinking it is her, only healthy. And I'm several years younger again! In the backyard, Singer plays with a ball like a young prancing Saylor did so many years ago. I can almost feel my mouth drop a little as I watch her in the sun, knowing it's not her, yet feeling like it is. All my sorrow just melts away at those moments. I've been trying to think if this is a good thing, or bad thing. Is it truly redemptive? I don't know, but it feels very right to have Singer in my life right now. She is not quite Saylor, she doesn't do everything Saylor did, but there are enough things that burn away the corrosive sadness to let the warm light of love shine through again, and I relive those moments I shared with Saylor. I think this is a good thing.

Today, Singer met our neighbor dog, Pollyanna, who is a ten year old Springer Spaniel. Singer barked, but she stopped when I held her collar and told her no. Polly's owner, Nancy, urged us to let the dogs sniff noses across the fence, but I am being extra cautious with introductions, both with neighbor dogs and with Dakota. Who was it who said, "Prepare for the worst, expect the best." I am doing just that with Singer. I'll be out with her in the yard for awhile. She loved being loose in the yard, wagging her tail full speed while she watched shadows of birds flying, thinking they were small animals scurrying on the ground. She rushed the fence when she saw a bunny in the next yard, but stopped when I called her.



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